FM考试过了，接下来就要开始为下一个考试奋斗。这学期毕业，挂上个大学生名号。生活还是生活，不断出现的问题和不断努力的超越。一边工作一边念master，继续考试，然后争取更好的工作。再让后去做自己想要做的事情。一直努力一直向前那么一切的一切所希望的都会慢慢实现吧。很高兴我选了现在所学的MAJOR。很喜欢，并不觉得乏味枯燥，想起中学的时候让我头疼的理科，觉得不可思议。一个人一生的机遇真是奇妙。我曾经一度以为我会去搞美术设计，毕竟是自己很喜欢过的东西。可现在完全向反方向发展。最初的最初是为了喜欢而做事情，之后是为了生活，前途，而现在觉得是生活不知不觉的教会了如何去生活，去享受生活并且带着宽容和感恩的心去对待身边的事物。

昨天和丸子他们过生日很开心，今天和妈妈一起庆祝也很开心，所以我想，接下的一年一定也会是开心的一年。祝我福如东海，寿比南山，事事顺心，天天快乐哈。昨天在Z家,他家人还有IVANA一起帮我和Z的cousin庆祝了生日，然后我和Z去PICNIC，买了不少吃的，本来说去湖边，但考虑到时间紧迫，我们在他家的PORCH上就解决了。然后去DOWNTOWN SHOPPING, 然后又去CHINATOWN吃东西。今天我，妈妈和TONY去红棉吃的饭，妈妈给我的礼物是个COACH的包，让我有点受宠若惊，牌子大家都认识但我还是觉得买个好几百的包包太奢侈，我非常谢谢我妈妈心意，她知道即使我有钱也不会买这么贵的包。呵呵。在国内的家人也有打电话来祝我生日快乐，我也没有辜负他们希望的非常快乐了，我爱我的家人，朋友，爱关心我的每一个人， 我会珍惜一切我拥有的，也祝你们一切都好！

Im a little bored right now and tired too. Me ,Z and Ivana,we went to Chinatown today. It was pretty fun. We ate at the tea house and showed Ivana that cool store that I was talking about before. I deposited my money so i can do my online transaction without worrying about being charged extra cause i dont have enough on my checking account for one of my credit card bill, but instead of keep spending i should seriously start saving. I also need to start on studying for my FM test. ><...I will take it on Aug 13 for sure this time and i need to make sure i pass it for sure. Me and Z will go back to my house tomorrow and plan to come back to his house on next monday. The movies we wanted to see are finally coming out next week, so next week for sure we are gonna go to movies. I am still thinking if i should get a part time job during the summer but i really wanna get my studying thing done. I havent been here for almost a year. eveything goes ok. one more semester i will be done with school and i plan to get a master degree at Depaul after i graduate from UIC. things between Z and I are going pretty well. He is trying to be a good bf and i can see alot of changes on him. and for me, I really think our relationship can work out good I will try not push him too much. It is summer again, times goes sooooo fast. I dont know when it is the next time i will be here but i hope i can bring some good news. good luck for everyone I love and & love me. By the way, for the video above, my bf likes to play pool alot, and this is one of the videos he likes. It is from the competition between the world's best pool player and world's best 9 ball player in 1996. Being honest, i dont really care who is who at the begining but after watching it for a while I started to enjoy it cuase some of the shots they made are really coool... 

    现在我在丸子(Z)家.丸子还在玩游戏.我本该是在复习为周一的考试,不过现在变成在看他玩...看着他那长激动的脸...不知道我们能不能长久..其实我也没想过要和他过一辈子...某些时候我甚至觉得我们是一定会分开的...我会去追求我要的生活...不停的旅行, 用我的方法见证我的生命.而他会娶妻生子,踏踏实实的过日子.

       两个人相处,很多事情是要谦让,体谅…可是我们有多太的不同…很难走到一起...很多想法都不一样…爱好也是…我知道自己也不是那么好…缺点一堆…可是我想要一份完整的感情.我觉得他只是想和别人在一起,究竟是谁并不重要.有时候我们两个人的世界是一场沉默的战争...观察,试探...爱,怕爱比对方多...付出,怕得不到收获.为什么很多我觉得重要的东西他会觉得无所谓?为什么他一撒娇我就会想要妥协? 妈妈说的对…在一起久了..谦让久了…是会觉得委屈的..我不想把自己边的那么可悲…可是太糟糕了…现在的我…想到要分开就会难过的不行...我不能这样下去! ...Z, 再喜欢你, 我还是得最爱自己!

Today is a bad day, maybe not the worst, but it really pissed me off...and It makes me relize that there really can be someone that I hate to death. I dont wanna decribe the shit one more time.  Cauze I've telling the same story for 5 times. anyway, the point is Im not gonna put my trust to anyone anymore, not even my Mom. I just figured that her life is completely ruined by her out-control emotion and crazy actions. she does not wanna take responsibilities for the things she does and alway blame others. she screwed up her own life and now she is trying to twist my life and make it as miserable as hers. I cannot stand her way of living,I must leave. if things keep going like this, i would kill myself...